Where did their wine go?

Funny story: My girlfriend and I traveled to the local grocery store this evening to pick up a cheap bottle of champagne for the new year's eve. I am not drinking alcohol at the moment, due to some rather disturbing immunity counts, and she simply wanted the champagne for tradition's sake (we are attending a small fraternity gathering tonight.) Therefore, we decided on a cheap, $5.00 brand.

While in the isle, we located the shelf where fifty or so bottles of this champagne were supposed to be - but weren't (apparently frugality is popular this year.) Kneeling down, I located a few bottles in the back of the shelf and, a little over ecstatically, grabbed one: muttering some words I don't remember. Next to us, was an elder (French?) man who bellowed out a deeply disappointing sigh.

"Oh, did you want the last bottle?," I asked, "there's actually another down there," I said, kneeling down again to retrieve a bottle for him. "Oh... no..." he stated disgustedly, "Look, why don't you guys spend the extra ten dollars and purchase a different bottle?"

"Well, I responded, we're college students - it's all the same to us."
"I was a college student once," he replied, "at least I think so... I don't know, it was a long Atime ago." We all laughed. He then took out his wallet and began to shift through his bills in order to give us ten dollars more for our champagne. Both my girlfriend and I pleaded against the handout, assuring him it wasn't worth it and that it did not matter to us. He placed his wallet away, we thanked him for his kindness, and we went on our way.

Shortly after, we arrived at the self-checkout stations and I was about to scan the drink. Alarmingly, the french man was racing, abruptly, towards us: "Cancel your wine!" he bellowed out. I did not scan the five dollar bottle in my hand. He stationed himself at the self-checkout center next to us, seemed to proceed with his own transaction, and then handed me the bottle of champagne he had recommended us. "Thank you so very much," my girlfriend & I both said. "In forty years, you can do the same thing for someone else," he replied. We exchanged names (his is indeed Stephen: spelled with a P&H, and he walked briskly out of the building. We toddled behind.

About thirty seconds later, as we were exiting the building, I noticed a security officer in our path - dead ahead. My first thoughts involved his witness of the french man overtly purchasing an alcoholic beverage for me. I expected to be carded. No problem, if I remember correctly, at this point in time I was reaching for my wallet. We were, however, stopped and questioned about what had transpired:

"Did you know that man?" he asked.
"No," I responded, "he gave us a drink recommendation."
"I see," the security officer replied, "Well, he didn't pay for his wine!"
Liquid filled beads of humor began to erupt in my head.
"That's unfortunate," I replied.
"Did you see where he went?" he asked.
"No," I responded.
My girlfriend & I proceeded to our vehicle.

So what happened? As we entered the car, it occurred to me the possibility of us being accessories to theft. Did the french man pay for our wine separately from his own order? Probably not. I didn't have a receipt. Did the man intend to steal the beverages, perhaps leaving us in the dust intentionally, or did he perhaps struggle to use the self checkout station? More importantly, does he really wish me to perform the same act for another person in forty years? :)

S.C.

Holiday break

Out in west Texas with my beautiful girlfriend & family for a few days. Here's a view from our deck.

Top Ten: Most read Authors

Note: This list doesn't include my adolescent adventures: Goosebumps, Animorphs - you know - that sort of thing. I'm also probably missing some novels & short stories read throughout college.

While I've read and recorded nearly 400 books in my lifetime, I'm surprised how little I've read of my favorite Authors after devising this list (but please remember, this is a list of my MOST read Authors, not necessarily my FAVORITE ones.) The Authors are ranked, 1 - 10, based on the number of books I've read by them:

[Rank] [Author] [Number of books read]

1. Ken Wilber #8
2. J.K. Rowling #7
3. Ron Paul #4
4. Thomas Pynchon #4
5. Grant Morrison #4
6. C.C. Zain #4
7. Neale Donald Walsch #3
8. Aldous Huxley #2
9. Robert Anton Wilson #2
10. Rick Strassman #2

S.C.

Merry Christmas

Received this via Richard Lange today:

"Kosmic Consciousness" by Ken Wilber: Review by Stephen Cronin

An absolutely stellar work and a fantastic compliment for those having difficulties dipping into some of Wilber's more dense texts. Having read "The Integral Vision," "Integral Life Practice," "The Integral Operating System," "The Essential Ken Wilber," listening to many productions on www.integralnaked.org, and miserably failing to read "A Brief History of Everything," my first attempt at a Wilber novel, Kosmic Consciousness tied a lot of knots for me.

It also, however, generated some new paths. I will be adding tibetan dream yoga and transcendental meditation to my daily integral practice.

My favorite tracks:

KC04 - 02 - Waking, dreaming, and deep sleep
KC04 - 03 - Your Original Face - the ever-present Witness
KC04 - 04 - How the experience of altered states leads to the acquisition of higher stages of development
KC04 - 06 - Levels and fields of subtle energy
KC07 - 03 - EEG evidence of brain states associated with satori
KC07 - 04 - How meditation accelerates vertical development
KC07 - 06 - Turiya- the fourth state of consciousness
KC07 - 07 - Highlights of Ken Wilber's personal experiences
KC07 - 08 - Breakthroughs, downturns, and plateaus

Hat trick subtle awareness

Last night I had bits of subtle awareness among some sexual fantasies. Third night in a row, it's been awhile.

Sharing the subtle realm?

Last night, I was laying in bed with someone I love; holding her tightly. As I was doing this, she fell asleep and as did I: very clearly entering the subtle realm. With this awareness, I was still holding her. In fact, I even stood up, with her in my arms, and wandered around my apartment. I then returned to my bed and my awareness was very focused on every second passing. I knew I was asleep and, I thought, - if I wanted - I could spend the entire night's sleep with this subtle awareness (I am dismissing causal at this point as it is something I don't remember experiencing within my lifetime.)

This led me to ask a question, is the subtle realm one that can present a shared experience between two individuals? Theoretically, I would say yes, because the awareness in the gross & subtle realms is indeed the same. I remember watching an interview with Alex Gray, discussing a shared dream he encountered with his wife.

Perhaps these are experiences waiting.

On a side note: I'm very surprised my lucid dreaming has increased as of late. Perhaps it's all the Ken Wilber I'm reading :)

With love,

S.C.

Getting published again

This time by the wonderful folks at the university of Houston's literary journal, Glass Mountain.

I'm not exactly sure what's being published, probably some of my poetry, but I received mail from them about ten days ago informing me. Will probably be in print sometime during the first quarter of 2012!

S.C.

Subtle awareness

215 pages into Ken Wilber's One Taste: barely an improvement worth mentioning.

However, something interesting to note, a series of odd experiences occurred to me within sleep this morning.

After sleeping at an unfamiliar place for about six hours, or so, I woke up and walked the chilly sidewalk to my townhouse and promptly hopped into my own bed to continue my slumber. Paying close attention to my waking awareness, I was able to hold it firm as I slipped into a distinctly subtle, dream-like, state. I could feel my bed and pillow beneath me and, somehow, simultaneously felt my mind reaching outwards in a seemingly infinite number of directions.

So, in order to test where my awareness truly was (gross or subtle,) I very abruptly attempted to roll off the bed; my "body" began to roll. Not falling onto the floor, however, but spinning continuously in an empty space. The dream images began to present themselves - random and spontaneous. Over the course of an hour and a half, I entertained at least twenty different dreams in which my awareness was maintained throughout.

At one point in time I was plunged into the middle of a group of people dressed in winter clothing with capes, stumbling in the snow; running away from a village aside a mountain. I, myself (despite warning from others,) ran towards the mountain to see what was going on! Excited, I was without fear.

In a different dream I encountered a forest-like area inhabited by beautiful plants and people. I remember thinking, 'When I die, if my awareness remained in this subtle, dream-type realm, I wouldn't mind ending up here!

As a dream was nearing its end (not by my choice,) I became very aware my eyelids and, at one point, I seemed to be able to open them and see double (the frames on my wall aside my bed - and - the dream I currently was experiencing.) Once a dream completely ended, I was awake in my bed with my eyes open. To start another lucid dream, I only needed to close my eyes, focus my attention on the "empty space" within my mind, and initiate that silly rolling mechanism.

Other notable dreams that morning are as follows:

I was indeed directed to hell, brushing most of the obscene scenery aside (I don't have much memory of it.) I do, however, remember meeting the Devil himself. I remember smiling and telling him I love him. His red face (complete with horns) spun around one hundred & eighty degrees and revealed a mechanical-like face, something like this. He then uttered "I am the man with no face!" (Stephen King, anyone?) and then he vanished.

Another dream:

A sexual tour of history with many naked women and arousing acts. As I was falling through people's bedrooms and kaleidoscopic collages of naughtiness, I eventually reached the center of the experience and saw the Devil - which I thought was interesting (perhaps that's my early Catholic conditioning I endured as a child.)

Sometimes, before a dream would start, I would get a unique introduction of sorts to the dream I was about to experience. I received a "warning" or an "alert" as if over the loudspeaker of my dream world - and I would be falling into a red & hellish hole. It didn't matter however. I loved and accepted it as part of my psyche and there was no fear.

(On a side note: one trend I've noticed, in general, if I wake up after six or so hours of sleep, walking around - or something like using the restroom - and then falling asleep again, would cause my awareness to stay fairly within my grasp during all the moments between the realization of physical reality and the realization of the dream world.)

My awareness continued throughout the dreaming and therefore I began to obtain some sense of control over the arena. I (and I think the way I went about this is very weird) began to utter commands to the images around me. I thought of the space I was in as a "holodeck" like system from the Star Trek series. At first, I was spinning around (I had just "rolled out of bed") and fell through floors/moved through walls, etc. Not a sense of control:

"Computer," I would speak, "create a white room!"

The images surrounding me began to scatter and in their places appeared four white walls in which I was enclosed.

At this point, I had the bright idea of attempting to search the subtle arenas for an answer to my chronic derealization experience (something I've not been able to locate a solution for since its inception in 2006.)

"Computer, summon a Doctor" (I completed this step several times over, all with distinctly different Doctors appearing: I don't remember all the responses given but, given the repetition, I guess the answers weren't satisfactory to me. Most of them would mumble and provide cryptic answers. One case I do remember, the physician was wandering around erratically:)

"Computer, the Doctor shall stand still."

The physician stood tall.

"Doctor, how can I fix my derealization?"

"It's not complicated at all," he responded, "simply eat cookies!"

I should have attended that Cookie Swap I was invited to, I suppose.

Another Doctor I summoned responded:

"You hold the keys to the world Steve, it's easy."

Perhaps I do.

S.C.

Hello world

I'm 212 pages into Ken Wilber's One Taste and it finally occurred to me that some type of productive journal-ing might be useful. I've started several blogs in my life, deleted most of them, and left the rest as dead & drying carcasses in a desert far east. But, none of those blogs were productive ones - and by that I mean: blogs that not only reflect the subjective thoughts of an individual through the written word, but (hopefully) contain some sense of usefulness that others (and heck, even myself) might find noteworthy and spark new investigation. That's what I think drives my life at the moment: new investigations.

Anyway, it's 4:16 AM and I am certainly overdue for some sleep time. Need to wake up in time for a "Cookie Swap" tomorrow (details shall follow.)

S.C.